About


However you have found me, welcome!

What is there to say about me?

I have a strange and complicated background.  It starts in the backwoods of Tennessee and winds through foster care, moving to Utah, moving to Sweden, becoming an EMT, teaching children, learning Swedish, and a bunch of other stuff as well.  I would describe myself as a quiet weirdo with a lot of opinions and a vast imagination.  I'm also a gamer, writer, and workaholic.  My favorite things to nerd out over are geology and philosophy.  I spend a lot of time both out in nature and in my own head, to enjoy those things.  Since my background was very irreverent in regards to society in general, I have generally very dark and morbid humor and outlooks on life.  Being an EMT has only heightened the darkness!  Think Mad Max mixed with Wednesday Addams and a healthy dash of Midna from Twilight Princess--though I aspire to be more like Spock, rational, calm and full of knowledge.  It's a struggle. 

I enjoy painting watercolors as well as graphite pencil drawings, though I make no claim to be good.  It's a hobby for me and a great therapy.  You can check out my art page here. I share art on the blog, as well as my mental health struggles, including depression and PTSD, as well as my personal views/other life philosophies.  I also talk about the fantastic area I live in, adventures I go on, and whatever else strikes my fancy, including weight loss/health and food, video games, the occasional beauty rant or rave, and my general opinions.  This is the epitome of a lifestyle blog.

Philosophy
Have You Ever Seen A Cloud Make A Mistake?
My Struggle With Assertiveness
Not For Ourselves Alone Are We Born




I know, the name is strange.  (And just in case, it's "hi" "fisch")

Haifisch means shark in German.  It's actually the name of my favorite Rammstein song.  Rammstein has been one of my favorite bands since I was about 13, and their lyrics are always packed with allegory.  Obviously we're not talking about a shark here, not really; sharks are seen as aggressive and lonesome, but the chorus talks about how "the shark" cries and no one sees, as it lives in water.  The chorus states that the ocean is salty from 'so many tears.'  In other words, everybody is crying.  Even the sharks.  And no one is alone in their misery, even the sharks, and we can't see each other's misery because we all swim in it.  It's comforting and pretty depressing at the same time (I'm into things like that. haha.) 

So in a way this blog is the same--I write things that are sometimes uncomfortable or sad, but I've learned that a lot of people relate to those things and so it makes me feel less alone.  We're just a bunch of sharks swimming around crying to ourselves. ;) 

Und der Haifisch der hat Tränen / Und die laufen vom Gesicht 
Doch der Haifisch lebt im Wasser / so die Tränen sieht man nicht 
 In der Tiefe ist es einsam, Und so manche Zähre fließt 
Und so kommt es dass das Wasser in den Meeren salzig ist

And the shark has tears, which run down its face
but the shark lives in water, so no one sees the tears
In the depths it is lonely and so many a tear flows
And so it goes that the water in the ocean is salty

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