A Hard August
Unfortunately everything good that happened in August was completely and totally overshadowed by Flemith's near-death experience. I will never forget how it felt, being in that dark bedroom alone, bawling my eyes out for hours and feeling so helpless and alone. I'm not meaning to be dramatic, only honest at how devastating it felt.
Even when he was out of surgery, even when I had loved ones donate and knew I could probably cover expenses, I remember that voice telling me to not get my hopes up and prepare for the worst. Now, seeing him thrive and knowing that what I had dreaded so much, a simple neutering surgery, was 1000000 times less dramatic than what actually happened, I feel like I could do just about anything. It's not an empowering feeling, just one of those weary "go ahead, bring it on" feelings.
So really, I'm exhausted. I really don't need more lessons, and I feel like by saying that, 29 is going to laugh at me and then be the most ridiculously absurd hard year ever and make me wiser and age me about 50 years. But whatever happens, I have my beloved Flemith, and I have people in my life who care, so really, I kind of don't care. Let's see if I accomplished anything this month.
Have a good birthday. Success. It was quiet and low-key and most importantly, I had my baby.
Actually paint. Success! I just doodled a bit. You can check them on my Instagram.
Complete re-certification goals. Well, I've been studying, so hopefully that counts?
Blog about Vegas. Success! I still have one more entry, but so far I'm amazed I even wrote considering my mental state most of the month.
Go to physical therapy. Fail. I did go to the doctor and get the referral. Now I have to go to the hospital for a neck xray before they start poking and prodding and snapping my spine. I just haven't been able to get to the hospital yet.
Not bad overall. But seriously, to keep up with my doodle art, which I don't usually post here, go follow me on Instagram!
Other Stuff that Happened:
-I had a Thai food date!
-I got to go up to Silver Lake (my sanctuary) with a friend
-I went to a pin up show/contest,
-I got Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the 3DS for my birthday and I'm already in the Forest Temple....
-I also got a Wacom tablet and realize how hilariously bad I am at digital art.
-I also got the Sims 4! Maybe prepare for a revival of my Sims series? We'll see....
-I had a hilariously pathetic (read: alone) birthday dinner and found out I have a shellfish allergy...
What a blur of a month. Some other, less palatable stuff happened personal relationship wise, but that's not for this blog. Anyway, I feel like I need to set some more concrete goals this month, to make up for the toilet bowl of bad emotion and sloppiness that was August.
Recertify! It's time. I feel so excited! This is my first time recertifying as an EMT, I feel too legit to quit at this point! Kinda nervous, but since this is my first recert, that makes sense.
Go to physical therapy. Get the goddamn xray done.
Get my uniforms. The uniform place is being a derp and I need to get on their case.
Send out thank you cards and repayments for Flemith's surgery. I can't bulk pay off nearly 3k in one month, but dammit I'm going to put everything I have towards it. I also offered to paint something for everyone who helped, so I want to get those mailed out by the end of the month.
Enter another pinup contest. Fall is prime time for some ghoulish options. I'm honestly more into classic pinup than rockabilly/Halloween hybrid which is weird, considering how creepy and gross I am. But I do have pretty good FX makeup skills, so I figure I might as well use them.
Go to the State Fair. Every year I don't go feels like a part of my soul dies. It's overpriced and overhyped and it makes me feel like a kid and I love it.
Start a new blog series. I've been having this one on my mind for ages. More details to come.
Take more outfit photos. Honestly I wear whatever doesn't make me melt into a grease stain in summer. Fall though? You bet your ass I go full on basic white girl. Everybody wants to see that, right?
Learn my tablet. Self explanatory! I am so excited to get on this.
As usual linking up with the lovely Autumn!