Afraid of Styling My Hair

Let's talk about hair for a minute.  When I first decided to do this I thought I'd make an entry every day, but the truth is, these hairstyles aren't that important or life-changing, haha.  I also technically skipped a day today, but that was due to sleeping all day (grave shift, man....one week left!)

So I wanted to share the two styles I've done so far.  I'll probably write again at the end of the week with the rest of them.  But, I'm actually kind of annoyed with myself.  Let me vent.

I always knew I didn't like to wear my hair up, but as it turns out, I am VERY insecure with having my hair up and away from my face (in anything but a bun...how??)  I have no idea why this is; in the half-up rope twist, I stopped by my old work to give a coworker cookies I'd made for his graduation, and I fought every impulse in the car to tear the twist out and have my hair down. I mean, it bothered me so bad I legit got angry for a few hours. What the heck??? I skipped over every single possible half up/half down style I saw and liked, and only begrudgingly wore my hair in the side braid the first day.  It really bothers me that I'm being borderline autistic about this.

For example, I (like everyone in the world) used to be scared of spiders.  But that's silly, because spiders are not dangerous, their venom is overhyped here in the States, and things like car wrecks or carbon monoxide poisoning are far, far deadlier and happen all the time, but people never think of them with the terror they throw onto spiders.  So I got over that fear by education and  respect for the little dudes.  Spiders are actually pretty damn cool.  I like 'em.  Why can't I reasonably think my way out of my fear of having my hair up?  What is the problem here? There's no rational explanation and I anger myself!  But after three days of this first world rage, I called it quits and said, you know what, it is what it is, I must be vain, and I can honestly say I have been like this my whole life--my mom told me that when I was a toddler she used to put my hair up in little bows and I would tear them out and started wearing a mixing bowl on my head as an alternative.  Some things about ourselves just are, I guess.  They are just there and we just have to deal with them.  Mysterious and strange, but I haven't resorted to returning to the mixing bowl yet.  I might though.  You just never know.

Anyway, my preference for having my hair down or in a bun is probably a good thing, for two reasons.  Firstly, I have attempted during the past week to French braid, and Dutch braid. (Already tried fishtail braiding awhile ago, haha, no, not happening, screw that.)  I still suck at it and I have no patience for it.  Almost 30 and not a braider.  Oh well.  I can't really make a lot of pretty styles without those. And secondly, I have to think about my upcoming job and the fact that I'll be (at least sometimes) wearing a respirator.  I don't know how often, but I've already been fitted for it and let me tell you, those cute little side braids and twisty-ponies don't work with tight, face-forming rubber strips all around your skull, top and bottom.  It's going to be a high bun every day, that's just how it is.  I can accessorize with flowers, but practically speaking, it's no big loss that I can't do an elsa braid worth anything.  When it comes to work=bun.  When it comes to time off=hair down because I'm a nut.

Am I the only one with these hair dilemmas? I'm curious if it's just me who pulls out ribbons and goes for the mixing bowl....

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