11.05.2013

The Time I Got Called A Nazi.

I have forgotten how nice it is to tell random funny stories on my blog as well as the deep dark heavy stuff.  Well, you're in luck today, because I keep thinking I need to write this one down.  It's such a doozy.  I know it's something I'll laugh about for a long time, despite being TOTALLY blindsided and shocked when it happened. 

Backstory: We have a neighbor who comes from an abusive past.  She's a bit older than me (has two kids and a husband etc) but we hit it off and she invited me to art class. It's important to note that the art classes took place in a church.  Everyone here knows I'm an atheist so, no big deal, right?  We started going in the spring, took a break for summer, and summer was the time when I was coming off antidepressants and deactivated my Facebook for awhile.  Summer came and went and I was looking forward to going back to art class and was even scheduled to teach a few of the classes.

She started acting weird.  I had literally no idea what I'd done wrong.  I often think that I misread social interactions, which is probably incorrect as I'm really emotionally intelligent, but still, I doubted myself.  Was she acting weird? Was I imagining things? Had she seen me naked through the bedroom window accidentally? You know how it is when you see someone naked by accident and you act all avoidy.  I couldn't figure it out.  I felt like I was being pushed away so I went with that and didn't talk to her.

Then one morning, I saw her in the grocery store and thought to myself, "Enough is fucking enough."  I boldly went up to her and said hello, and she rather awkwardly and meekly offered me a ride home in her car.  It was on this innocent car ride that she made her move.

Neighbor:  I feel betrayed by you, from one abused child to another.
Me:  ...errrr.....??? (did she see me naked???)
Neighbor:  You do know you deleted me from Facebook?

At this point we're standing outside our houses and I can't stop myself from laughing.  That's it? Facebook deletion? 

Me:  I think you're taking Facebook a little too personally.  I deactivated---
Her:  No, you need to listen to me.  You attacked me on Facebook.
Me:  I...what????
Her:  It was with your anti-religious posts.  You were speaking specifically to me!
Me:  Ohhhh no.  nononono.  I go on anti-religious rants sometimes (kind of like I do on this blog) but they are NEVER directed at any one person and rather the religious ideals themselves.  Definitely not you.  (I was still kind of laughing at this point, but I tried to sober up.

Me:  I'm sorry if you ever felt that I was attacking you but I can assure you that wasn't my intention.  I think you need to take Facebook a little less seriously.
Her:  No! You attacked me!  You don't know my life! You don't know what struggle I've had to have my faith!
Me: oh boy
Her:  You made me feel WORTHLESS!! You made me feel PERSECUTED!!!

YOU 
MADE
ME
FEEL


Me:  .............


LIKE I WAS A JEW

AND YOU

(is she serious?! Is she seriously going to call me this? My brain was making time slow down.  I swear I only remember this happening in slow motion) 

WERE 

(she's serious oh god here it comes)

A

(she's really going to say it!)

NAZI!!!

Cue the most dumbfounded, flabbergasted, completely blank slate reaction ever from me.  I wasn't even mad.  How could I be mad?! A SWEDE had just called me a Nazi! In plain daylight! OVER A GODDAMN FACEBOOK POST SHE ASSUMED WAS MEANT FOR HER!!! I just kind of blinked hazily while she whined for a few more minutes.  Was that even legal?  Swedes don't even look at each other in public much less call each other name MUCH LESS SAY THE N WORD.  This is Europe! Who does that?!?!!?
 
At some point when the fog lifted and she was still sputtering out how mean I was (I think she realized she'd overstepped a huge boundary at this point, she'd lost her fire) I just shook my head and walked inside the house.  Her last words were, "Yes, you go and have a think!"  and I was like, "You too, the next time you call someone a Nazi."  We haven't spoken since.

Like I said, I was pretty horrified and shaken up at the time, because WHO DOES THAT REALLY, but afterward it was pretty funny and now it's a family joke that I'm the resident atheist Nazi.  It was a little awkward when we rang her doorbell for Halloween and I'd dressed Cornelius up as the Devil, but that's what us atheist Nazis do.   



4 comments :

  1. Sue // As It SeemsNovember 5, 2013 at 7:06 AM

    LOVE this story. Seriously though?? "You don't know how much I've struggled with my faith" is the go to phrase of religious friends. It doesn't seem worth it to me! I love that she thought you were attacking her personally. Silly people and their silly Facebook.


    and THANK YOU for posting my button! I appreciate that more than I can say! Love you!

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  2. OH MY GOD I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THAT. Almost (*almost*) better than calling you a nazi was the "You don't know my life!" That might be one of my most favorite phrases of all time. It's appropriate in every situation. Examples:
    Would you like fries with that?
    YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!


    It's interesting you are a dog person, I totally would've pegged you for a cat person...
    YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!


    I appreciate your well thought out beliefs and ideals, you are a very strong person.
    YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE, NAZI SCUUUUUUUUM!

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  3. Lol what? Is that person for real? Sounds like super strange behaviour to me - especially for a Swede, haha! XD
    She must have had some other problems in her life besides you and your "nazi rants". Or I hope she had and isn't someone going around calling people nazis every time anyone says something negative about religion. Either way good riddance for you.

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  4. HAAAhahaaha that is so hilarious. I imagine it's quite awkward to live next to her!!

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