10.14.2013

Self Love: Things Younger Me Would Like About Older Me.

I am the WORST BLOGGER EVER.

 "hey alex why don't you make a blog every day challenge!"
 "okay but let's take a lot of time choosing topics so that I don't miss any!"  
"sure, we'll take like weeks to put the list together!"

misses two Fridays in a row

Yeah well that's how it goes with me.  Fridays end up being days I have zero time to blog; I do my daily routine of taking care of the kids, then I have to pack and plan to go to Stockholm.  A two hour train ride without internet is no way to blog, and by the time I get to Stockholm I just want to crash and do nothing.  So here you have it, I suck.  

Today I had a bit of a conundrum too.  I'd originally hoped to make today's October challenge an entry in the SimplyPainted portrait challenge, but their linky list is closed/isn't working/something's wrong/I missed it.  Whatever.  I saw this topic, 'things younger me would like about older me' floating around the blogosphere and thought, hey, that's a pretty good prompt for a self love post!  I like the angle on it because I was a pretty shy, traumatized kid.  Thinking back to those days and imagining running across an older version of myself reminded me that I have a lot to be proud of


  •  Younger me would be happy that I got out of my bad family situation
  • and that I'm not so permanently scarred that I can't function (most of the time)
  • Younger me would be glad that I still love animals so much
  • and that I have a dream of being a writer; I always adored writing
  • Younger me would be thrilled that I have been able to travel overseas
  • Young Alex would enjoy my artwork and stories and the fact that I do paint
  • That I stood up to my family and don't let them boss me around or run my life
  • That I got to spend some time with Doris before she died, even if it was a short time
  • That I really found true love and a great man who makes me happy and takes care of me
  • That I have special friends who I like to take care of 

I think the thing I would be most happy/pleased about as a kid is realizing that I didn't give up.  I saw so many adults in my life giving up; teachers who didn't care about teaching, parents who could have given a shit less about their children, children who had zero aspirations and are now repeating the cycle of abuse and drugs and all that stuff.  I was in a black hole of a community where nobody ever escapes and I saw that as a child...but I certainly never thought I would be the one to get out the farthest, to live the fullest, to really appreciate life without giving up, even if I felt like I have given up many many times.  


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