"hey alex why don't you make a blog every day challenge!"
"okay but let's take a lot of time choosing topics so that I don't miss any!"
"sure, we'll take like weeks to put the list together!"
misses two Fridays in a row
Yeah well that's how it goes with me. Fridays end up being days I have zero time to blog; I do my daily routine of taking care of the kids, then I have to pack and plan to go to Stockholm. A two hour train ride without internet is no way to blog, and by the time I get to Stockholm I just want to crash and do nothing. So here you have it, I suck.
Today I had a bit of a conundrum too. I'd originally hoped to make today's October challenge an entry in the SimplyPainted portrait challenge, but their linky list is closed/isn't working/something's wrong/I missed it. Whatever. I saw this topic, 'things younger me would like about older me' floating around the blogosphere and thought, hey, that's a pretty good prompt for a self love post! I like the angle on it because I was a pretty shy, traumatized kid. Thinking back to those days and imagining running across an older version of myself reminded me that I have a lot to be proud of.
- Younger me would be happy that I got out of my bad family situation
- and that I'm not so permanently scarred that I can't function (most of the time)
- Younger me would be glad that I still love animals so much
- and that I have a dream of being a writer; I always adored writing
- Younger me would be thrilled that I have been able to travel overseas
- Young Alex would enjoy my artwork and stories and the fact that I do paint
- That I stood up to my family and don't let them boss me around or run my life
- That I got to spend some time with Doris before she died, even if it was a short time
- That I really found true love and a great man who makes me happy and takes care of me
- That I have special friends who I like to take care of
I think the thing I would be most happy/pleased about as a kid is realizing that I didn't give up. I saw so many adults in my life giving up; teachers who didn't care about teaching, parents who could have given a shit less about their children, children who had zero aspirations and are now repeating the cycle of abuse and drugs and all that stuff. I was in a black hole of a community where nobody ever escapes and I saw that as a child...but I certainly never thought I would be the one to get out the farthest, to live the fullest, to really appreciate life without giving up, even if I felt like I have given up many many times.