6.11.2013

The Best Tough Decision.


Time to spill my guts for a minute about something I for some reason, have never opened up about on this blog before.

We all know I love Sweden, and most people knew even before I did that my "Christmas visit" was going to be a one-way trip.  I hadn't even spilled the beans about getting an au-pair job until after I was here, but it seemed like all my friends and family could sense that I was Sweden bound.  I wanted to really experience the culture and land, as a native, not a two-week tourist.  I think anyone can fall in love with any place if they're only there a handful of time.  But I was convinced I'd love Sweden just as much as I did before.

And I was right...kind of.  I love Sweden more than I ever imagined.  It is different from America in a lot of ways, but most of them are good things, things that I want in a place to call home.  A few examples are the history, the healthier food and water, more tolerance to gays/civil rights, mostly religious-stigma free, and of course the huge benefit of living mere hours away from places like Germany, Russia, Italy, better work hours/wages/vacation time and so on.  I miss a lot of things about America, well, Utah in particular, but I feel like it's something that I can handle in the long run if I were to move here permanently.

Which is the entire issue.   That's freaking scary.  I have the ability and the opportunity to make this last forever.  It doesn't have to be a jaunt in another country while working for a family as an au pair.  It could be me, becoming a student, doing whatever I'd like thanks to the publicly funded education, and then continuing to pursue my writing dreams while surrounded by so many beautiful and wonderful things and people.  But, that also means leaving behind beautiful and wonderful things in America.  My family, really.  I have so many loved ones spread out all over the country....I have my cats there.  This is a tough call.

I know that if and when it comes to it, I can stay or go as I please.  My life has been bad luck and shitty parenting, but it's also been a kind of "Where in the World is Alex Worley" deal where I get whisked away all over the place kind of like a secret agent or something.  And I also know that the grass is always greener: when I'm in Sweden, I miss Utah.  When I'm in Utah, I miss Sweden.

Can't I have my cake and eat it too?  What would you do?  Also, for those of you living overseas with family in Murrica....how do you deal? Tips to survive?

3 comments :

  1. It's hard to live so far away from the family but you have to go where your heart truly is. I had to think long and hard about it and at the end of the day I'd rather miss my parents, brothers, sisters, and friends than miss Aaron. Obviously Everly goes where I do ;)

    Although I can't lie, I'm pretty excited to go back to the States after a year and a half away!

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  2. Fly your cats over! But I've heard bad things about that, so maybe not.

    Honestly, I have no advice. I've lived in the same town my whole life and all of my immediate family lives here, and we have frequent reunions with aunts and uncles. I'd find it hard to leave that behind, but if I loved something enough, I know it'd work out! That's why there's things like skype and planes!

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  3. If you love Sweden so much, why not take the opportunity to stay??? Utah will still be there when/if you want to go back. Cats can move. They will have to be in quarantine but that's only a month (I think). I have an English musician friend who is 80+ and he lived in Norway and Sweden for many years, but moved back to England I think 2 years ago this year. He did it all by car.. and brought his cat over too. It was in quarantine for 4 weeks and then they were happily reunited.
    Just consider there is a lot of hassle that you have to deal with if you are more than au-pair in Sweden, getting an id card, bank account, the tax office, etc etc. But it's all worth it if you want to live here. I did the same thing when I moved over to Ireland. I missed my job (nursing is totally something different in Ireland than in Sweden) and that's why we moved back to Sweden. Now the public health care is losing everything it once was and I regret going back. But at least Ireland is close and we can go there quite often anyway.

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