3.15.2013

Self Exploration Sentences (Worksheet)

I have a lot on my mind that I haven't put in this blog concerning self-love lately, but I want to wait until I am coherent (it's late) and sober (it's the weekend) enough to pull off a well-thought-out discussion piece.  Right now I want to do a bit of an exercise, a worksheet I found on 'self exploration'.  It definitely has a lot to do with building self esteem and self-compassion, I think.  I'm always analyzing and more often than not, over-analyzing myself and my decisions and life.  This simple exercise, just the completion of a few sentences, helps with understanding what's going on and how I feel, without all the added cumbersome baggage I tag to things and let them drag me down.

Feel free to fill these out for yourself.  If you do, shoot me a comment with the link! I love reading stuff like this.  Much more fulfilling than a braindead pinterest post or whatever else floats out there in blogland.



Self Exploration Sentence Exercise


My family is
a big bunch of smelly retards.  lol.  I don't feel like wasting energy on how I feel about them.  There's always some lurking sadness that I feel when it comes to hating them, but there you go....they suck and that's that.  Next.

A fond memory of mine is when
the other day I wrote in my private blog (yes, that's how neurotic I am) about the first time Henri kissed me.  It wasn't that long ago, it was in December, but it's a night I like to remember over and over again.  Coming to a new country, there's tons of new sights and smells and sensory overload that just cannot be explained until you visit a new land.  Henri is kind of my familiar fuzzy warm teddy bear that makes me remember myself when I can't do so otherwise.

I admire
people who stand up for others, instead of just sitting there neutrally when someone's being bullied or insulted.

Right now, I feel
tired and super excited! Cruise...weekend with Henri....week alone....it's like a personal vacation.

I have been struggling with
not having a personal number.  I feel a little dehumanized.  The lack of American dialect really gets to me sometimes too.  These are whiny-sounding things, and you're probably thinking "oh god, she gets to travel abroad and all she does is bitch!" but I promise you...after a month or so, and I've been here three, the novelty wears off in a way that makes you feel so, so terribly alone and misunderstood.  See above: why Henri is so nice to have around.

I am proud of myself because
look at me.  I fuckin' did it.  I did it.  Not just moving overseas.  That was something I NEVER imagined myself doing...but just, everything.  For all intents and purposes as a 25 year old, I am a success.  I'm healthy, (mostly) sane, independent, functional in society, and I even have the perks of being liked loved by amazing people and looked up to by others.  I write, I create, I paint, and I do so much more than I was given to understand one had to do in the world.  So I did it.  I have, with bumps and setbacks and disappointments, lived the life I always wanted.

I hope to someday
have a family of my own.  And be an author.

Today, I will
kiss Henri at the train station and then have my very first cruuuuuuuise!

My best friend
kicks ass in every single way a human being can.  She's like a superhero.  And I trust her.  And I never trust anybody, but I trust her.  She is my idol.

I am afraid of
my own negativity sometimes. Suicidal thoughts.  The want to get back on SSRI's.

The future seems
doable.  Totally doable.  I'm sure it will have more bumps and disappointments, but I've already succeeded in this first quarter of a century, so I think I can make that pattern continue.

1 comment :

  1. I love these. Reading your blog always makes me smile!

    ReplyDelete