1.07.2017

January Monthly Goals // Bloggy Brunch

Let this count as my 2017 introduction post!  As such, I thought it might be helpful, to, well, introduce myself.  To avoid the risk of regurgitating my about page or my sidebar, I'll try to mix this up a bit.

To start, I'm one of those people who is quiet unless she knows something for sure, and then turns into real life Hermione Granger.  If I don't know my ins and outs of a subject I'm a great listener and learner (provided I give a shit about the topic) but the minute the topic goes to my expertise(s), you can't get me to shut up.  Some of the things I'm a good listener for are chemistry, history, mechanics, and space.  My Hermione topics are anything art related, English/literature related, body language related, and EMS as a whole.  My boss says I'm also really good at mundane, over-articulated paperwork, Thanks Toby!


I often get told I have a bold or strong personality even though I admittedly try to hide this.  I will remain uncomfortably silent until it's absolutely necessary to talk, and I guess the talking that I do ruins my air of mystery and reverence.  It's one thing I don't like about myself so much, because what other people endearingly call "character", I call "brashness" and "over-emotional."  Basically one day if I reach my final form I'd like to be Mr. Spock--rational and calm and cool with great capacity for both thought and emotion.  But it'll never happen.  People also tend to think I'm an extrovert because I can carry a conversation, entertain a room, "liven up" and so on, but most of them never quite understand that if I could literally run away to the mountains and live on tree bark and wear a moss womankini, I absolutely 100% would, but the ski resorts would totally kick me out after the first Mormon sighting of my nipples.  But my point is, I'm actually an introvert and prefer solitude.

I LOVE MY CAT.  I actually have three cats, which make appearances on Instagram, but the older two are shared between my roommate and I, and prefer to be left alone (traumatized shelter cats.)  I got my little Flemith to help me with depression and wow, he changed my life.  Now my little blueberry cream cheese muffin is a huge gigantic fluffbag, and he's independent and feisty instead of loving and tiny, but we still have a bond.  The type of bond where he absolutely has to watch me pee, and escorts me from room to room, and I kiss him until I accidentally drool on him.

January Goals
2017 is going to be a year unlike anything I have ever experienced.  I already know this and will talk about it in the days to come, but mostly I'm just trying to get through the months with my brain intact, so we'll see how it goes.  Fresh start! Woo.

-Finish some paintings. Pretty self explanatory, haha.
-Blog about my Saltair painting.  I posted it on my Instagram if you're curious.
-Create a budget for the year.  I have no idea where to begin with this, but my god I'm going to be 30, it's time...
-Set up my fancy ass new bathroom scale, and watch the number on it not go up this month. Self explanatory, haha.
-Visit Moab, and have a great time!  Room reserved!  Activities planned!  Mini-cation!
-Find and photograph Newspaper Rock and Home of Truth.  An hour south of Moab is the famous petroglyph wall, Newspaper Rock, and an abandoned cult location, called the Home of Truth.  I am super into exploring/photographing abandoned areas and hope I can sneak some photos in of this crazy place.  The story's too long to put here but click the link if you want to read some crazy cult practices. 
-Throw Allyn a birthday party THAT WILL ROCK INTENSELY.  I've got some ideas.
-Schedule a doctor appointment.  What a fun time of year!  Extreme winter!  Sick people!
-Continue therapy and physical therapy.
-Unveil my secret online side project.  This may not be done in time for the end of the month but IMMA TRY!

And that about concludes it!  Linking up with Autumn and Angie. Onward to the bloggy brunch!






1.05.2017

Just Another Path

Before we get into 2017 there's something else I have to talk about here.

I had already wrapped up 2016 mentally.  I, like everyone else, was going about my business celebrating the holidays (by that I mean working) and enjoying opening presents and snow and so on. I was driving into work on Christmas morning, December 25, just after midnight.  It was the first huge snowstorm of the season and our plant road was covered in ice and snow.

I was almost to work and my 60 mile drive was behind me--I was relieved, and relaxed knowing that I would soon be on duty and able to relieve my coworker.  But I got hailed before I made it; one of our coworkers had an accident.  I was the first EMT to respond, and our ambulance and other EMTs arrived afterward.

My coworker did not survive the accident.  I was affected deeply, as were the other people on scene.  I don't remember much of the following week.  His family and loved ones were heavily on my mind, and Christmas isn't easy to begin with (probably for anyone?)

I have seen death before, but this incident really left me feeling deflated and helpless.  I became an EMT to help people.  As others have said after this, not every situation is a win.  And even though I was originally the only EMT there, the man had his friends and coworkers nearby, talking to him and encouraging him, as I did, that he wasn't alone.  When the other EMTs showed up, we were a seamless team that transitioned into first a two man, then three, then four man team to do our job.

It's true, sometimes you just can't win.  It's horrible, and I keep thinking of Gandalf's words: "Death is just another path, one that we all must take."  As someone who actively chose to help people in emergency situations, it shouldn't be surprising (and wasn't, to anyone) that I was and am, very sad for this loss of life.

There were probably a lot of reasons I was more affected than normal, but after a very heavy Christmas and New Year's Day, I felt that sensation that anyone familiar with death feels.  Life is so fragile.  It's never guaranteed.  It's so precious.  We are all finite.  And for the first time since I became an EMT I questioned my decision.  I will continue to do my job, but I definitely have a hole in my heart.  And I will take that, and my reminder to treat life as the ephemeral, strange thing it is, more reverently this year.

12.21.2016

2016 Timeline: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Seems like everyone is writhing in pain, talking about the horror show of 2016.  I think we're all just getting more cynical, because even though I have my fair share of whines and gripes, I have also had some flat-out amazing things happen this year.  I've done so much journeying, I've learned so much, I've met probably the finest people (and reconnected with some amazing ones) so I thought I might summarize it all in a timeline-esque form, trying to go as chronologically as possible.

-I became the proud owner of Luis Sera, my first car!
-I traveled to Sweden and became a Swedish resident.  Thanks Sweden, for -20F.  That was nice.
-I celebrated Valentine's Day alone with a hot dog, which I dropped on the ground as I exited the car.
-I left the abusive, sexist workplace I'd been in for over a year.
-I worked briefly as an armed officer and dealt with sexual harassment on a whole new level.
-I got the most amazing job offer.  And accepted, of course.
-I traveled to Vegas for Derik's birthday and we had a blast.
-Which is where I jumped off the Stratosphere a second time.
-I ended a really toxic relationship/friendship/something??  Why do we waste our time on people?



-Flemith was diagnosed with a congenital peritoneal-pericardial diaphragmatic hernia.
-He was subsequently treated with a lifesaving surgery thanks to the help of some amazing people.
-I turned 29.  I don't like it.
-My favorite presents were a tablet from Derik, my birthday flowers, and a Mad Max bracelet.
-My boss allowed me to assist in teaching EMT class and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!
-My workplace/boss assisted me in re-certifying as an EMT.  I am so grateful for them!
-I ran away to the mountains and spent some time emptying my craziness into the earth.
-I went to Tennessee and visited my family.  I also visited (sort of) Ghost Town in the Sky.
-I participated in a bonafide pin-up contest and had quite a few cool costumes and looks this year.
- I helped a friend leave an abusive marriage, which I'm happy for and proud of.



There's not much else to say about this year...like I said, a lot of good, a lot of bad.  The ugly has already been cast out like garbage, so I can't complain about anything else.  Luckily 2016 is winding down on a positive, if subdued note.  I'm working through the holidays and will be at work to bring in the 2017, business as usual.

One last note--I wanted to showcase some art I've done this year.  I felt completely and absolutely useless artistically, but after putting together a few sketches it looks like my severe artistic constipation is on the upswing, at the very least.  I'm not a fan of most of these works, but at least they're palatable (I think.)


12.12.2016

2016 Seasons in Review

So, there will be a few more 'year in review' posts I vomit out before I torch this strange, awkward, Saturn-infested year of 2016 and never look back, but I really wanted to put a spotlight on actual seasons--the passage of time means so much to us measly skinbags, but it's just another turn for mother nature.  Since I go to Silver Lake so often I have photos taken as early as April and as late as November.

Here they are, in order, all taken in 2016...this is what Cottonwood Canyon was doing while we were spazzing out and arguing.  Enjoy a gorgeous year's worth of natural, beautiful seasons!