Looking forward to: Work has been its usual good self, nothing to report there. I change schedules starting in May so that Allyn and I can be on the same days on and off and it's going to be incredible. We've only been waiting FOREVER for this. I feel like what anxiety and annoyance I have about work will be wiped away. I'm trying to stay realistic about that because a truck driver will always burst in and call me a retard (no, that really happened last week) no matter whose shift I'm on. But it'll be a change of coworkers and schedule off work.
I'm also looking forward to spring, and car shows! I fully intend to hit up a ton of them this year, as well as write more articles for Hot Rod Time. I always struggle on wondering if what I have to say is interesting (see: this blog post) and I end up not writing anything. TIME TO JUST LET IT GO. I was bummed out when I realized we would be missing arguably the two coolest car events I could attend--Viva Las Vegas, and Wasteland Weekend. But they're annual events, so it just gives me time to work on my figure for the first, and my costume for the second, right?
Reminiscing: Allyn and I had a precious one day off work in February (or was it January? idk) and we went on a sort of 'tour' for ghost towns all over Tooele County. We hit up Ophir, Mercur's cemetery--the creepiest place I have e v e r been, and I've been in medieval Swedish cemeteries and Viking burial mounds-- Eureka, and the Tintic Standard Reduction Mill. It was the PERFECT day except I was still suffering morning sickness and had to scream at Allyn to get the f away from me so I could go be sick in some bushes. Twice..... Anyway, a great day all around, and good follow up to our visit to the Home of Truth in January. It's so great to have a partner who supports and shares my morbid fascination with rotting societal remains. And when we get our schedules aligned, not only will we see each other, but we can go exploring more!
Obsessing over: So many things. First that comes to mind is Bates Motel. This show has hit it out of the park since season 1, and though I'm not a "tv aficionado" I pride myself on my taste in stories. And damn was this ever a crazy story. The last season in particular, this season, has been on point every single moment. They're not going the True Blood way, where they ruin every single positive plot and run the thing into the ground. Bates is ending after this season and I think I may be the saddest person on the planet because of it. I'm also totally obsessed with the footage from Rammstein: Paris, and caaaaaaaan't waaaaaaaaait to own it. In the meantime I may see if I can use the footage to paint a few Till studies, i.e., the subject I enjoy painting most of all.
he's just so...so...photogenic and all
Planning: Hard to believe, but, another Tennessee trip! I have been stressed over ticket prices and whether or not Allyn and I would get ANY damn time off together in our lives, but we jumped the gun and got some great tickets. I very, VERY rarely travel with others. Allyn, minus a trip to a ballpark, has been in the West his entire life, so we are both excited at a "new" experience for both of us. I have come to understand through planning trips the last decade that I am like the wise old sage of travel. That's super weird considering I'm a cranky shut-in who likes her cat and Till Lindemann. But it's nice to plan trips, and I find myself "in my element" when I am booking tickets, looking at itineraries, comparing activities and all of that. I think I will just always have a bit of traveler in me despite the homebody-ness. I'm happy with it.
Frustrations: Honestly, food? I had this great plan of getting back to LCHF and finishing off the massive weight loss I had, and then BOOM nope! I couldn't stand the sight of a vegetable for a good 2 months, and now my excuse is more "cravings" and "convenience" than anything else. I live with two men, and one of them won't eat practically anything I touch because I use white-people flavors. I like cooking big extravagant meals, but there's always waste, and I always get frustrated and decide to never do it again when it feels like I am the only one stuffing down the healthy food while everybody else runs out to get hamburgers and Panda Express. But I really need to get it under control.
I'm also having a lot of frustration with the whole "intrusiveness" of making a life and all that. I am not one to lay everything on the table anyway, but now I get "how are you feeling" a good thirty times a day. What if I say I feel like I want to run into traffic and jump off a bridge? Do people even listen? It's just like a "check-in" button that means nothing. Then when I complain about symptoms or feeling like a whale or whatever problem I'm having, they shut it down. It's like that twitter post:
But like everything else, the appropriate response is to just ignore and forget about it, over and over again. I truly don't think that people mean badly with it, but it adds to the exhaustion. I prefer to be treated like a normal adult, same as I've always preferred, and I'm thankful for those who have the ability to see that. I've just never wanted to run away and build a cabin in the woods more than I do now.
Which leads up to the last part of this post:
Thinking about: I have wanted to make the jump back into school for geology or chemistry for awhile now, and couldn't really find the motivation or more specific niche within those communities. Now I'm remembering how great it was to grow up in a forest, surrounded by nature, and what a magical childhood I had (minus the beatings and screamings you know) and how I definitely don't want to raise a family in suburbia. I somehow came across the idea that working in Forestry was a good idea. I would even consider wildland firefighting, (heavily!) but with a degree I could do so much more. Fish and wildlife, parks, environmental science, and naturally move to areas in close proximity to nature for whatever work. I could even keep up my credentials with fire and rescue, and work to make people+nature safer, which is a passion of mine. Kind of sounds like paradise, and also kind of sounds like I'll be going back to school soon.